new fun thread....
Sun Jan 13, 2013 11:59 am
A young girl started work in the village chemist shop. She was very shy about having to sell condoms to the public. The owner was going on holiday for a couple of days and asked if she would be willing to run the shop on her own. She had to confide in him her worries about selling the contraceptives.
"Look," he said. "My regular customers dont ask for condoms, they'll ask for a 310 [small] a 320[medium] or a 330[large]. The word condom wont even be used.
The first day was fine but on the second day a man came in to the shop, put out his hand and said "350".
The girl panicked. She phoned the owner on his mobile and told him of her predicament.
" Go back in and check if he has a yellow bucket hanging between his legs" her boss told her.
She peeped through the door and saw the yellow bucket hanging between his legs. "Yes "!!!! she said " He's got one hanging there"....!
The boss said "Go back in and give him £3-50......................He's the Window cleaner"!!!!!!":D
"Look," he said. "My regular customers dont ask for condoms, they'll ask for a 310 [small] a 320[medium] or a 330[large]. The word condom wont even be used.
The first day was fine but on the second day a man came in to the shop, put out his hand and said "350".
The girl panicked. She phoned the owner on his mobile and told him of her predicament.
" Go back in and check if he has a yellow bucket hanging between his legs" her boss told her.
She peeped through the door and saw the yellow bucket hanging between his legs. "Yes "!!!! she said " He's got one hanging there"....!
The boss said "Go back in and give him £3-50......................He's the Window cleaner"!!!!!!":D
Fri Feb 01, 2013 8:05 pm
It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
One human hair can support 6.6 pounds.
The average man's penis is two times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
Women
will be finished reading this by now.
Men
are still busy checking their thumbs.
One human hair can support 6.6 pounds.
The average man's penis is two times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
Women
will be finished reading this by now.
Men
are still busy checking their thumbs.
Mon Feb 04, 2013 7:39 pm
Mon Feb 04, 2013 7:46 pm
Mon Feb 04, 2013 7:56 pm
Mon Feb 04, 2013 8:05 pm
Tue Feb 05, 2013 11:15 am
here's real issues!
:7:Our neighbour's dog shat in our garden, so my mum told me to get a shovel and throw it over the fence.
I don't see what that solved, now we've got dog **** in our garden and the neighbours have our shovel.
Tue Feb 05, 2013 11:41 pm
As I answered the front door dressed in high heels, stockings and suspenders, leather mini skirt and bright red lipstick...
the Lady asked:
"Hello Sir, is your wife at home?''
To which I replied:
"Take a wild effiing guess love!'':mamba_mini:
the Lady asked:
"Hello Sir, is your wife at home?''
To which I replied:
"Take a wild effiing guess love!'':mamba_mini:
Wed Feb 06, 2013 11:44 am
Paddy says " I am thinking of divorcing the wife.....
she hasnt spoken to me in 4 months"
Mick replies " u better think it over Pat...
women like that are hard to find !"
she hasnt spoken to me in 4 months"
Mick replies " u better think it over Pat...
women like that are hard to find !"
Thu Feb 07, 2013 5:13 pm
INNER PEACE
I'm passing this on because it worked for me today....
A doctor on TV said, to have inner peace we should always finish things we start
and we all could use more calm in our lives.
I looked around my house to find things I'd started and hadn't finished, so I finished
off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of chardonnay,a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha
mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how fablus I feel
rite now.
Sned this to all who need inner piss...
An telum u luvum x
I'm passing this on because it worked for me today....
A doctor on TV said, to have inner peace we should always finish things we start
and we all could use more calm in our lives.
I looked around my house to find things I'd started and hadn't finished, so I finished
off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of chardonnay,a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha
mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how fablus I feel
rite now.
Sned this to all who need inner piss...
An telum u luvum x